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DISCUSSThe Pope vs. Spiderman
04/21/2008
Let’s Get Ready to Rumble
April 18-20: New York Comic Con
April 18-20: New York Papal Visit
Coincidence? We think not.
The Vatican knew exactly what they were doing. It was their attempt to make a full-scale frontal assault on American popular culture. Faced with a decision between comic books and holy scriptures, multiple superheros and a single savior, action figures and crucifixions, graphic novels and encyclicals, between the greatest artist in comic book history (Stan Lee) and the second most popular pope of the last four years (Benedict XVI), who did they expect us to choose?
Still, our intrepid reporter Becky Garrison did her best to shuttle back and forth between Comic Con and the Popemobile, snapping pictures everywhere she went, so that we could analyze the comparative entertainment values and present you with our Pop Culture vs. Christendom 15-round Heavyweight Smackdown.
Round 1: Crazed Fans Competition
Comic Con: Even Spiderman can’t believe it’s happening.
Papal Visit: The people on the parade route who did not wave flags with confusing esoteric symbols on them tended to wield huge banners with mixed messages.
Comic Con leads, 1-0.
Round 2: Sorcery Competition
Comic Con: Look at the perfect complexion on that porcelain Harry Potter figurine.
Papal Visit: Here, maybe the Popemobile will brush against these rosary beads.
2-0 Comic Con.
Round 3: Charismatic Leader Competition
Comic Con: Quiet, Stan is in the house.
Papal Visit: Is that him? Wait, yeah, I think I see him. No, that’s the glare from the Secret Service guy’s sunglasses.
Three in a row for Comic Con.
Round 4: Infernal Fire Competition
Comic Con: Hellboy was overrated.
Papal Visit: Now that’s what we call invoking Satan.
One for the Vatican. 3-1 Comic Con.
Round 5: Armageddon Competition
Comic Con: Nice special effects.
Papal Visit: That’s the most apocalyptic doomsayer they can come up with?
4-1 Comic Con.
Round 6: Multicultural Moment Competition
Comic Con: Stan Lee and Hiroyuki Takei team up to create the Manga comic Ultimo.
Papal Visit: Intrepid Benedict drops in at the Park East Synagogue. Shalom to the max.
The Pope fights back. 4-2 Comic Con.
Round 7: Security Guard Competition
Comic Con: Star Wars Stormtroopers.
Papal Visit: Fat NYPD officers with too many badges.
Why didn’t he bring these guys?
Comic Con leads, 5-2.
Round 8: Ass-Kicking Competition
Comic Con: The Incredible Hulk.
Papal Visit: A lonely and isolated anti-Pope demonstrator gets clubbed in the face with a tambourine.
6-2 Comic Con.
Round 9: Virginal Geeks Competition
Comic Con: Yes, they laugh at things like this at 9 in the morning.
Papal Visit: But Benedict fills St. Patrick’s with them at 9 in the morning.
6-3 Comic Con. The Pope has an outside chance, but he needs a knockout.
Round 10: Uncomfortable Sexual Dysfunction Competition
Comic Con: Beavis and Butthead humor.
Papal Visit: Benedict tried to talk to the extended families of 6,000 people diddled by clergy.
Excellent round for the Pope. Still 6-4 Comic Con.
Round 11: Gratuitous “God Bless America” Competition
Comic Con: In Gotham, no less.
Papal Visit: Yes, it’s there every day.
7-4 Comic Con.
Round 12: Merchandise Hustling Competition
Comic Con: Who can beat Todd Rundgren as Jesus?
Papal Visit: Certainly not this guy.
8-4 Comic Con. Pulling away.
Round 13: Que Es Mas Gay? Competition
Comic Con: Aquaman always did seem a little too tight in the groin area. He really has no equals.
Papal Visit: Nice try, though.
9-4 and Comic Con is coasting.
Round 14: Making a Fashion Statement Competition
Comic Con: Papal people don’t do vinyl.
Papal Visit: They hung some signs and that was it.
10-4 Comic Con. Pope needs a knockout.
Round 15: Commemorative T-Shirt Competition
Comic Con: Any time you have to use the Statue of Liberty, you’re in trouble.
Papal Visit: I went to Yankee Stadium and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.
He wins a late round but can’t finish off the comix. 10-5 Comic Con and we’re not that surprised. John Paul II would have creamed these guys.
I think you need to give extra points to the guy with the sign condemning "lewd prostitutes." It's an important display of tolerance, I think, showing important new theological openness to demure prostitutes.
Wow. Normally we love lewd prostitutes in NYC. Guy must be an out of towner.
The Green Lantern takes the cake on "power rings." Sorry, Placido.
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And "foolish drunks". Because we all know the rest are "wise drunks".
The Sexual Orientation Game? Are we sure that wasn't part of the other parade? Or on TBN?
If you couldn't what was on the sign, and just looked at the two dudes holding the sign, you would immediately assume the sign had a rainbow on it.
I was reading fast. I thought you wrote "holding hands." Either makes sense.
Greet each other with a holy kiss (Rom 16:16).
Superman is better then Jesus. Both are also works of fiction.
just like anonymous people
I take exception to that guy's judgment of "Anarchist."
I know plenty of Christians who are anarchists.
Really, where do you live? I live and minister close to NYC. Ive got Christian friends all over the political spectrum but I have yet to meet a real Christian anarchist. I am surprised that you say that you know plenty. Just curious =)
I don't know many "in real life" (i.e. face to face) or at least I haven't seen some of them in ages.
My brain's crapping out as to his name, but one of the regular posters on here is on a Christian Anarchism message board with me. He'll eventually see this and reply. Or I'll reply when I remember. I have issues with CRS.
"The Faith Voice." Seriously? A spambot? A faith-based spambot?
Fail.
A "faith based spambot". I thought the only christian techies that knew about spambots were a part of the Emergent Church, and we all know that they would never push their faith on anyone, it smacks of "evangelism" and we can't have that. So, one more time, real forum please.
I'd have to give Round 15 to Papa Ben--It takes a real man to wear embrodiery and 18" tall pointy hats.
I Agree! I saw six or seven of them at the last drag show I attended!
Becky,
Loved the article along with your comments.
A1
When leaving the com-con, does it take a few hours for the smell of clearasil and dried-up B.O. to clear the nostrils? I think it would be a hoot to go to this thing and just "people watch."
When leaving Yankee Stadium, does it take a while for the choking sensation to go away?
If the Yanks don't win the World Series this year, after hosting the Pope, nothing will help them.
Go Sox!
The pope spoke for about 45 minutes at Yankee Stadium, then Mariano came in and closed.
Doug - I don't know about com-con, but I do know that your premise holds true for any anime convention. The clearasil and b.o. clear out in just a few moments though - not hours.
And people watching is well worth the price of admission to one of these conventions... things you'll see no where else on the planet! Fun and amazing.
I think that this German Pope ( known as the German Shepherd ) should wear the pointy hat more often. That would go well with the ruby slippers he wears. "Theres no place like Rome, theres no place like Rome."
hmmm... I'm evolutionist, anarchist-like, I've smoked marijuana, sometimes I drink as a fool, I'm not totally anti-abortion, and I've said a lot of lies (hey!! we all lie). So,according to the bigot-black mustached-fundamentalist am I going to hell?
BTW, how will God judge bigot fundamentalists?
Yes, do not pass purgatory, do not collect $200 love offering, you will go straight to hell.
Are you talking about me, or about the bigot black-mustached fundy (BTW, I don't have any mustache)?
Mountainguy, I was just joking about your post (and trying, apparently unsuccessfully, to use a Monopoly reference); not being serious.
hahaha, I got it! (excuse me; I've been a little "slow" this days)
Oh, mountainguy - I'll see you in hell. I'll be the one with the fresh hot martinis and the bong.
God will *not* judge bigot fundamentalists - don't you know they're here to judge for him? They send him a list every day that he adds to the big book. :)
what, no Earth Day salute?
Stan Lee is the anti-Christ. He will not die.
Rebellious Women? Really, what century is this again?
What cave did this man drag himself out of and who printed the sign for the idiot. Forever a Christian Rebellious Woman. God help the men who think this way.
What cave did this man drag himself out of and who printed the sign for the idiot. Forever a Christian Rebellious Woman. God help the men who think this way.
Ya... I would hesitantly recommend reading the "Putting Women In Their Place" (and comments) article from a few weeks ago. The comments are enlightening as to how unenlightened some people are. Please take your blood pressure meds beforehand.
You people are hilarious. Sorry, but the comments are funnier than the article (if you can call it that) except for the guy who said Jesus was fiction. He's not funny, and besides, Jesus would kick Superman's butt. (No offence to Superman intended!)
The comments are sometimes funnier than the article... and while Jesus may not have been fiction to begin with his "church" and his followers have certainly rendered him fictional over the last 2000 years.
Yeah - well Jesus doesn't have x-ray vision! And he doesn't fly! And he has those goofy loose robes instead of a skin tight leotard with a cool logo. He doesn't have a cape either! Neener Neener!
It's wonderful that the door is attracting the twevele year old demographic. though you for got supermans best power the increadibliy awsomwe plastic sheild thing that he throws as seen in superman two
I wonder if the pope is actually a superhero in disguise? That would be the best secret identity ever!!! Someone needs to check his schedule and find out if there were other comic book conventions corresponding to previous stops on the tour.
Well, the pope is definitely a "fashion hero", considering his different out there outfits...
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